butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
