The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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