I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
