im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize