woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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