There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
