Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
