if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
