Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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