She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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