everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
