Barsexuality is the new black.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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