nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
