I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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