the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
