is your mom at the bar?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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