Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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