Small penises have feelings too.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
