Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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