then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
