He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
