its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
