her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
