Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
