got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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