all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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