our cab driver is having phone sex.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
