When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize