if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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