Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
