Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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