I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
