watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize