it wasn't lemon gatorade
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
