she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
