I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
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