glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
