i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
this will be a night to untag.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
