There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize