I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
