You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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