i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
