I forgot how hot balto sounded
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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