Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
it's great music for shaving your balls
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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