dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
