Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Its about making memories worth repressing
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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