i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
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