Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize