Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
