fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
