that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
