Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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