u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
