this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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