I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
