Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
