Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
