But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
