I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
