But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
